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My Israeli Army Experience
by Yeshia Braverman
This really is an army like no other.

It's been a just over a year since I joined the Israeli army and I never thought I would enjoy anything as much as this. The thrills, and excitement, the ups and downs, everyday is nothing like the previous.

Throughout high school I wanted to join the American army. I was a patriot; the Star Spangled Banner always brought a tear to my eye. My parents were not too excited about the idea. After many talks, I had an epiphany. I'm a Jew and by joining the Israeli army, I'd be defending my people in our homeland. No matter what type of Jew you are, we are all part of the great Jewish nation. We are family, brothers in arms, and this is truly the land of the free and the home of the brave.

So I joined the IDF in March 2007, and I was completely unprepared. How could I be? All the movies and TV shows I've seen about what happens in the American army portray a very intense and abusive lifestyle, so that's what I was expecting. Luckily my experience was far from that.

Our commanders and officers sat us down on the first day and told us all that the only way we would succeed was to love and respect one another. With the support of your fellow soldier you could do a lot; hop the wall, crawl under barbed wire, and climb up and down roofs. But with the support of your commanders and officers you could do anything; bust smugglers, capture escapees, and arrest terrorists.

Training was hell. There was the obstacle course, the weeks spent in the field, learning how to shoot, where to hide, where the enemy hides, you get the drill. There were the 3AM wake-up calls, especially torturous after not being allowed to go to sleep until 1:30AM. There was the tear gas tent where you were forced to run half a kilometer, do 30 push ups while wearing a mask, then enter a tent filled with tear gas and remove the mask to see how long you could last, while being detained inside by the officer inside (who is wearing a mask).

We had many, many, many hikes. We covered many, many, many kilometers. But they weren't just simple hikes; we would walk 20 kilometers over mountainous terrain before pulling out three or four stretchers, loading the lucky few on top (somehow it was always the same people), hoisting a couple more upon our shoulders and continuing on. All the time getting yelled at by our commanders -- about how we were weak, and have to continue and no giving up.

But back to that support and love. Everyone was working as a team although every once in a while we had races and competitions to see who was better and where everyone was health wise. One of the races was to complete 86 sit ups followed by 75 pushups, after which you had to run two kilometers in under nine minutes. If you didn't pass, you were embarrassed and would have to take it again until you succeeded.

During one of the runs I witnessed one of the most beautiful, unselfish acts. We had just finished the first circle and were coming around for the second when I noticed a couple of people falling back, exhausted. I thought to myself, What a shame. They're going to have to do it again. Then I saw the lead runner and his best friend stop, turn around, and start running in the opposite direction. They had gone back for the laggers and started running alongside them, cheering them on and basically luring them back into the race. They didn't end up passing but they didn't mind -- they had achieved something else: they had showed everyone else what's truly important. That's when we started creating a loving friendship between all of us. And that's what got us through all the training.

The day before we were released for a short vacation for the High Holidays, one of our main officers called the entire company together for a talk. This was in middle of training and there is this sort of distance between you and your commander. You are not allowed to talk to him without his permission, and even then only with great respect, you have to always remember that you are just a private and he is a first or second lieutenant. He told us to have a good holiday and then he said something which no one could believe. On behalf of all the officers and commanders, he asked us for forgiveness. He told us that all the times they had yelled at us or talked down was just for our benefit and was never anything personal. If any of us had been insulted he just wanted to say sorry and to clarify that it came from the heart, for our own good. He made it clear that we were all in this together -- as Jews, as brothers, as part of Klal Yisrael, the Jewish people. And then he wished us "Good Yom Tov."

I was beginning to realize this really is an army like no other.

by Marnie Winston-Macauley

Outrageous, odd, fascinating Jewish facts and figures.

AND IS THE MOON CREAM CHEESE?

The King of Jewish food, the bagel, has become universal. But who knew how universal? While many scientists believe that the universe is expanding spherically, some are starting to wonder if the universe is bagel-shaped, according to Tony Rothman, professor at Illinois Wesleyan University, which he discusses in detail in his book, Doubt and Certainty. Oy. If it becomes a "certainty," the Talmudic debate over whether the universe is poppy seed or onion alone, will take another 3,000 years!

TEFILLIN WINS WORLD SERIES?
Can a brilliant Jewish athlete and a pair of tefillin affect the World Series? Just ask Rabbi Moshe Feller, director of the Upper Midwest Merkos-Lubavitch House. What Jew didn't kvell when, Sandy Koufax, the Dodger's ace pitcher, refused to play on Yom Kippur during the 1965 World Series. (The Dodgers lost that opening game to the Minnesota Twins.) Ah ... but there's more. Rabbi Feller, an avid baseball fan, met Koufax at his hotel, saying: "... Because of you, more Jews knew about when Yom Kippur was going to be this year than they do with a calendar. ..." And, he presented Koufax with a set of tefillin. The Dodgers won the series, and Koufax became the Most Valuable Player. Since then, Rabbi Feller started the first "tefillin mission," putting them on baseballers like Mike Epstein and Ken Holtzman. So for you future athletes: you better eat your Wheaties...and put on your tefillin.

For you future athletes: you better eat your Wheaties...and put on your tefillin.

HITLER'S JEWISH PSYCHIC
During the 1930s, Germans -including Hitler -- were into the occult. Erik Jan Hanussen, the European Houdini, was a Jew, a fact Hitler didn't know when he made Hanussen his psychic advisor. In 1933, in despair over his political future, Hitler recalled Hanussen's prophecy that he would become Fuhrer within a year and the two had over a dozen meetings. More disturbingly, Hanussen loaned large sums to Nazi leaders. After the burning of the Reichstag in February, 1933, German communists were blamed, but speculation "leaked" of Hanussen's involvement. Top Nazis hated the Jew who held their IOU's, and knew ugly secrets about them - and Hitler. On March 1933, Hanussen was executed. His heinous role in Hitler's ascent has been largely unknown to this day.

HOLOCAUST AND HIP HOP
Can it be? It can, and is. Grammy award-winning Israeli violinist Miri Ben-Ari and Israeli rapper Kobi "Subliminal" Shimoni, co-produced a hip-hop music video that expresses their feelings about the Holocaust, titled "God Almighty When Will It End?" in English, and "Adon Olam Ad Matai?" in Hebrew. Oy? True, some rebbes and cantors feel "hipping" and "hopping" is a long way from the hora. But many others feel this "unorthodox" music by young Israelis, part of the Gedenk (Remember) Movement, are inspiring and informing youth about anti-Semitism and the Holocaust. Who knows? Maybe Madness is one method to teach ... madness.

LOIN OF GIRAFFE, KOSHER?
You bet. The long-necked animal chews its cud and has cloven hooves. So why aren't we buying happy meals from Giraffe King? Well for some reason, Giraffe burgers just never really caught on in Ancient Israel, which means we don't have a continuous tradition for eating giraffe, and you know how we Jews feel about tradition (see: Tevye). But even if Bubbies around the world somehow banded together to bring giraffe back, to produce a deli sandwich would cost over $100 a pound! Now that can't be kosher!

YIDDISHE "STRIPS"
As kids, American Joomers (Jewish Boomers) chuckled over the adventures of goyishe comic characters such as Little Lulu and Dagwood. Even if many of comic strip writers were Jewish, actual Jewish comics were underground or not specifically Jewish. Things have changed. In 1986, Art Spiegelman's adult comic-book history of the Holocaust, "Maus" was not only a best-seller but won a Pulitzer Prize. And, our kinder can now identify and root for comic Jewish superheroes, such as Sabra, Seraph, Rambam, and Ragman.

But for those of us who missed the boat on those new Jewish comics, we can take solace in the fact that many of the superheroes of yesteryear had Jewish roots. For example, if Superman were created today, his creators, tribesmen Joe Schuster and Jerry Siegel, might have given a Hebrew name on his home planet of Krypton - Kal-El ben Jor-El!

Interestingly, some goyim have been swept up by the Jewish-inspired toon craze. Witness: Kal-El Coppola Cage, born in 2005 to Nicolas Cage (Coppola) and wife, Kim who saddled their son with Superman's Kryptonian name. True, Cage had been up for the lead in a Superman flick. But to paraphrase another comic character, "Holy Chutzpah, Batman!"

TWO IS BETTER THAN ONE?
Everyone knows that Chanukah occurs but once a year, right? Wrong. Over a thousand years from now, in the year 3031 of the Gregorian calendar, there will be no Chanukah! Ah, but the following year, 3032, there will be two -- one in January, and the other in December. That's, count 'em 16 gifts per! (And don't forget the latkes.) Tip: Leave a time capsule to be opened in 3000, with instructions to your loved ones to start saving their shekels - and potatoes.

Author Biography:

Marnie is author of the advice column, "Ask Sadie." She has written over 20 books and calendars, including, "Yiddishe Mamas: The Truth About the Jewish Mother" and "A Little Joy, A Little Oy." She wrote for "As the World Turns," (Emmy and Writers Guild nomination). She starred in her own radio show and a Discovery pilot. Marnie is in "Who's Who in America," 2007.

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MI Chief Expects Terrorists to Target Be'er Sheva Within Two Years

By Ha’aretz

Wednesday’s rocket attack on an Ashkelon shopping mall prompted IDF Military Intelligence Chief, Maj. Gen. Amos Yadlin to tell Ha’aretz that "every community within a 40-kilometer range may come within range of the Hamas rockets: Ashdod, Kiryat Gat, even Be'er Sheva."

Yadlin spoke in an interview to be published in full Friday in Ha’aretz Magazine. Security sources told Ha’aretz that after the visit to Israel by President George W. Bush, which ends on Friday, the IDF will step up offensive operations in the Gaza Strip. But the source said that at this time there are no plans to permanently take over parts of Gaza.

Bush Says US, Israel United Against Iran's Nuclear Ambitions

By Scott Stearns (VOA-Jerusalem) & IsraelNationalNews.com

President George Bush said the United States and Israel are determined to prevent Iran from developing nuclear weapons. Bush is in Israel for events marking the nation's 60th anniversary.

Bush said America stands with the Jewish state in breaking up terrorist networks and opposing what he calls Iran's ambition to develop nuclear weapons. "Permitting the world's leading sponsor of terror to possess the world's deadliest weapons would be an unforgivable betrayal for future generations," he said. "For the sake of peace, the world must not allow Iran to have a nuclear weapon."

Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad said his nation's nuclear program is about generating electricity not weapons.

Bush spoke at a special session of Israel's parliament marking the special relationship between the United States and Israel. Sixty years ago this week, U.S. President Harry Truman was the first to formally recognize Israel, just 11 minutes after its independence from British rule.

As part of this trip, Bush is hoping to encourage Israeli and Palestinian negotiators to agree on the outline of a separate Palestinian state before he leaves office in January. But his remarks to the Knesset made no mention of a timetable for that state or how to unite Palestinians who are divided between Hamas in the Gaza Strip and Fatah in the West Bank.

Looking ahead 60 years, Bush said he envisions a Palestinian state governed by law, respecting human rights, and rejecting terror.

"From Cairo to Riyadh, to Baghdad and Beirut, people will live in free and independent societies, where a desire for peace is reinforced by ties of diplomacy, tourism, and trade," he said.  "Iran and Syria will be peaceful nations, where today's oppression is a distant memory, where people are free to speak their minds and develop their talents. And al Qaida, Hizbullah and Hamas will be defeated, as Muslims across the region recognize the emptiness of the terrorists' vision and the injustice of their cause."

"Israel will be celebrating the 120th anniversary as one of the world's great democracies, a secure and flourishing homeland for the Jewish people. The Palestinian people will have the homeland they have long dreamed of and deserved - a democratic state that is governed by law, and respects human rights, and rejects terror."

The president and Mrs. Bush have been the guests of honor at a series of events marking Israel's 60th anniversary. But it is a time of sadness for Palestinians who were displaced by Israel's founding.

Bush leaves Israel Friday for Saudi Arabia and talks with King Abdallah. He will then travel to Egypt for separate meetings with Palestinian President Mahmoud Abbas, Afghan President Hamid Karzai, Jordanian King Abdullah, and Egyptian President Hosni Mubarak.

Earlier Thursday, Bush toured the Roman-era desert fortress of Masada. A cable car carried Bush to the top of the towering plateau, where in an act chronicled by a 1st-century historian, 960 Jewish men, women and children committed suicide rather than surrender to Roman forces crushing a rebellion in ancient Judea.

At Masada, Bush and Prime Minister Ehud Olmert viewed ruins including a water collection system that sustained besieged Jewish zealots at the sand-colored sanctuary.

"The courage and bravery of those who fought at Masada can be seen in Israelis today," White House spokeswoman Dana Perino said before Bush's visit to the site of ancient Roman ramparts overlooking the Dead Sea.

One theme repeated in Bush’s speech at a special Knesset session was the rejection of appeasement and negotiations with terrorists. In the same speech, and echoed in Olmert's speech, Bush praised Israel's concessions for peace and envisioned a Palestinian State.

"You won't ever see that happen," Knesset member Hendel shouted towards Olmert as the two right-wing MKs left the plenum.

"No nation should ever be forced to negotiate with killers pledged to its destruction," President Bush told the Knesset, adding that "we stand together against terror and extremism, and we will never let down our guard or lose our resolve." He went on to note that "the founding charter of Hamas calls for the elimination of Israel" and that "the President of Iran dreams of returning the Middle East to the Middle Ages and calls for Israel to be wiped off the map."

Bush then decried negotiations with "terrorists and radicals" as "the false comfort of appeasement, which has been repeatedly discredited by history."

Palestinians Express Anger on 60th Anniversary of Israel's Creation

By Jim Teeple (VOA-Jerusalem)

Palestinians living in the West Bank and the Gaza Strip on Thursday marked the 60th anniversary of the 1948 war that followed Israel's independence, when hundreds of thousands of Palestinians, obeying orders from Arab big shots, fled into exile.

Thousands of Palestinian schoolchildren gathered at Manara Square in downtown Ramallah to release black balloons over the city to commemorate what Palestinians call the Nakba, or the catastrophe, when Israel was founded 60 years ago.

Many Palestinians like Maha, who declined to give her last name, said they were angry with President George W. Bush for not visiting the Palestinian territories as he did in January during his last visit to the region.

"Yes it means a lot.  How come he celebrates the establishment or the 60th anniversary of Israel and does not look at the other side of the coin, the other face of the coin?" Maha asked.

In his annual Nakba speech Palestinian President Mahmoud Abbas called for reconciliation and unity among Palestinians - divided since last year's violent takeover of the Gaza Strip by Hamas militants.  Tensions were high in Gaza after Hamas security forces stopped Fatah allies of President Abbas from holding a Nakba rally.  

In his Nakba speech to Palestinians Abbas said he would continue peace talks with Israel, aimed at reaching some sort of framework peace agreement by the end of this year.  Abbas will meet with Bush this Saturday in the Egyptian resort of Sharm el-Sheikh. 

Why Israelis Love Life

By IsraelNationalNews.com

An Asia Times article, explaining why Israel is the "world's happiest country," cites statistics showing that Israel leads the world in the national gap between fertility and suicide rates.

The author, identified only as Spengler, compiled and compared the fertility rates and suicide rates of 35 industrial countries, and found that Israelis "appear to love life and hate death more than any other nation." 

Spengler explained that he compared "the proportion of people who choose to create new life, against the proportion who choose to destroy their own. Israel stands alone, positioned in the upper-left-hand-quadrant, or life-loving, portion of the chart."

Israel's fertility rate (births per woman) is 2.77, according to Spengler, while its suicide rate is 6.2 per 100,000 people.  In the U.S., however, the numbers are only 2.1 and 11, respectively, and in France they are 1.98 and 18.  The gaps in the numbers of many of the other countries are on the chart are even wider.

"It's easy for the Jews to talk about delighting in life," Spengler wrote in another Asia Times article, because "they are quite sure that they are eternal, while other peoples tremble at the prospect impending extinction. It is not their individual lives that the Jews find so pleasant, but rather the notion of a covenantal life that proceeds uninterrupted through the generations."

"Israel is surrounded by neighbors willing to kill themselves in order to destroy it," Spengler writes. He notes that Muslims teach, "As much as you love life, we love death" - a formula found in a Palestinian Authority textbook for second graders as well.

Oil-rich Saudi Arabia ranks 171st on an international quality of life index, Spengler writes, while "Israel is tied with Singapore on this index, although it should be observed that Israel ranks a runaway first on my life-preference index, whereas Singapore comes in dead last."

Spengler suggests traditional Jewish faith in God as the reason for Jewish joy.  Muslim faith, however, is of the type that encourages a form of fatalism, he feels: "Arabs did not invent suicide attacks, but they have produced a population pool willing to die in order to inflict damage greater than any in history. One cannot help but conclude that Muslim clerics do not exaggerate when they express contempt for life."

UK ‘Apprentice’ Contestant: The Hunt for Kosher Chicken

By Ha’aretz

A task to find a kosher chicken in Marrakech (Morocco) caused a stir on the BBC's version of The Apprentice this week, when the self-declared Jewish contestant headed straight for a halal butcher to procure the poultry.

The luckless Michael Sophocles came in for a blasting from the competition's businessman overlord, Sir Alan Sugar, himself Jewish, who questioned Sophocles' religious background after the contestant said that he did not know the meaning of the word "l'chaim."

"In your CV, what's the first thing you wrote on it?" Sugar demanded of Sophocles. "What did you say in there, you're a good Jewish boy? Is that right?"

Upon receiving an ambiguous response, Sugar told him: "If you're unsure you can always pull your trousers down and we can check. Is it right you went to a Muslim halal butcher and asked him to get you a kosher chicken? and he actually made a prayer over it?" Sugar asked.

When Sophocles replied in the affirmative, Sugar continued: "Are you having a laugh or what? I don't know why you didn't go the whole hog and find a Roman Catholic priest to take the butcher to confession."

Sir Alan then asked Sophocles if he knew the meaning of "l'chaim" - a Hebrew expression meaning "to life," which is frequently used by Jews in toasts. Sophocles admitted that he did not know what the word meant, but did know "what the word schmuck means."

Sugar's amazement at this gap in knowledge of Jewish custom elicited Sophocles' admission that he was in fact half-Jewish, which led Sugar to question the contestant whether he had included his religious background as "some kind of thing for me to sympathize with you, treat you a little bit differently."

Sophocles denied the charge, and Sugar let the issue go as he continued to lambaste the team for their poor performance. Sophocles narrowly missed dismissal from the competition, whose prize is six-figure salary and a job in Sugar's organization, as task leader Jennifer Maguire was ousted.

In the discussion Sugar had with his two associates prior to the final elimination, Sophocles was branded a "waste of space" by one, while the other marveled that even he, as a Catholic, knew what kosher was.  

PA Children's TV: Tel Aviv Doesn't Exist

By WorldNetDaily

A children's television program broadcast by the recognized terrorist organization Hamas has told viewers that Tel Aviv does not exist; instead it is the Palestinian city of Tel Al-Rabi'.

The programming is being publicized by the Middle East Media Research Institute, which has posted the video on its website. WND has reported earlier on similar programming that once featured President George W. Bush being "killed" as well as a children's Mickey Mouse-lookalike being "martyred" for the Palestinian cause.

A year ago, WND also reported an online forum tied to the website of Hamas posted a photo of a little girl in a combat vest and the head band of the terrorist Al-Qassam Brigades.

The message accompanying the photo said the girl "is part of the Muslim generation which will go down in history [as a generation] … that refused to [accept] humiliation and defeat."

The latest excerpt is from the Hamas children's show called "The Pioneers of Tomorrow," and aired on Al-Aqsa television on May 9, MEMRI said.

A "bunny" and a man are talking: Assud the Bunny: Grandpa, where did you live? In what city? Grandpa: We used to live in the most beautiful place in Palestine.

Assud: Where? Grandpa: My dear, you've never seen such a place. I used to live in Tel Al-Rabi' [the Arab word for "spring," which is "Aviv" in Hebrew]. What a beautiful place. My God, when I recall Tel Al-Rabi', which the Zionists have called...

Assud: There's no such place called Tel Al-Rabi'. What's the matter, Grandpa? Have you gone senile? Grandpa: I'm not senile. My head is working just fine. How can you say I'm senile? This place was called Tel Al-Rabi', but the Zionists and Jews Hebraicized the name to 'Tel Aviv.' Where did this 'Tel Aviv' come from? It has been Tel Al-Rabi' for generations, on the land of Palestine, right next to Yafa. How can you say I've gone senile? I know this.

“My head still works just fine. Are you trying to confuse me? I'm not senile yet. I have documents and proof. I have all the papers here. The documents are right here with me. How can you say I'm senile? I have all the documents with me. Here they are. Everything is here, from the days of the British and even before. This is our land, as well as the fields, the trees, and the houses. I can even show you the key. You're calling me senile? I have proof.

Assud: Forgive me, Grandpa, it's not our fault. It's the fault of the school curricula, which did not teach us that Tel Aviv is in fact Tel Al-Rabi', and vice versa.

Grandpa: No, my dear, take it from me. I know, and I have the papers and the land deeds. The name Tel Al-Rabi' has been forged by the Jews and Hebraicized to 'Tel Aviv.' They invented all these names. 'Ashdod' is, in fact, Isdud. 'Ashkelon' is, in fact, Al-Majdal. Where did they get these names? Al-Sab' is called 'Beer Sheva'! It's all a lie. There are all pseudonyms. Yafa, Al-Lydd, Al-Ramla, Al-Sab' – they changed all these names and Hebraicized them, and now they say: That's Tel Al-Rabi'? There is no such thing. It's Tel Aviv. It's all a lie. All these names were Hebraicized by the Jews.