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Israel's entry in the Eurovision Song Festival. See below

 

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America and the Middle East

Michael Oren, Israel's new ambassador to the United States, discusses America and the Shaping of the Middle East. From the first cannonballs fired by American warships at North African pirates to the Marines' conquest of Fallujah,...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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History of the Middle East in a couple of minutes

 

A Father's Day salute to a few of the best Jewish fathers in history

by Mark Miller

 

Last month, I paid tribute to some extraordinary Jewish mothers in history and I learned two things. One - a column paying tribute to Jewish mothers is certainly not sufficient to take the place of an actual Mother's Day gift, even if you do suck up to your mother in it. And two - it's a waste of time brainstorming for ideas for a June column in light of the countless emails from Jewlarious fathers saying, in effect, "Hey, what are we, chopped liver?" And to them I would say only, "No, you're certainly not chopped liver. Especially the vegetarians among you." So without further ado, and in the interest of fairness and Father's Day this month, please allow me to honor three of history's extraordinary Jewish fathers.

Moses

Moses is perhaps our best-known Jewish father, though, sadly, never received one Father's Day greeting card or even a necktie or bottle of cologne. Moses is revered for being a Hebrew prophet, teacher, and leader who, in the 13th century B.C. delivered his people from Egyptian slavery by parting the Red Sea long before David Copperfield made a jumbo jet disappear. Along with God, it is the figure of Moses who dominates the Torah. Moses also guided the freed slaves for forty years in the wilderness - you have to remember this was years before MapQuest. In addition, he carried down the Ten Commandments from Mount Sinai, introducing ethics, law and morality to the Jews, some of whom complained that Moses was, "a real party pooper."

Think about that. Moses delivers God's laws, he parts the Red Sea, he takes his people out of slavery and into the Promised Land, he turns a rod into a serpent, he casts ten plagues upon the Egyptians. No wonder I have an inferiority complex. I have just got to quit comparing myself to major Biblical figures.

In terms of his personal life (He had time for a personal life!?) Moses was married to Zipporah. They had two sons, Gershom and Eliezer, who were constantly sick of Moses telling them, "When I was your age, I was already conversing with a Burning Bush."

Albert Einstein

Albert Einstein was a theoretical physicist. But, then, who isn't? He is best known for his theory of relativity; specifically mass-energy equivalence, expressed by the equation E = mc2, and less well known for his unique collection of matzoh ball soup recipes from around the world. Einstein received the 1921 Nobel Prize in Physics which he used primarily to impress women on JDate. Einstein published more than 300 scientific works and more than 150 non-scientific works, including the song, "Hey Guy Who Used to Boss Me Around at the Patent Office in Berne - Check Out My Nobel Prize!" In 1999, Time magazine named him the Person of the Century. Despite this honor, his wife, Mileva Maric, still made him take out the garbage daily.

Still, a Gallup poll recorded him as the fourth most admired person of the 20th century and according to The 100: A Ranking of the Most Influential Persons in History, Einstein is "the greatest scientist of the twentieth century and one of the supreme intellects of all time." To the scientifically literate and the public at large, Einstein is synonymous with genius." To his wife, however, he was, "a big show-off who better not forget to take out the garbage." And because his name is synonymous with genius, it is often used in ironic expressions such as "Nice job, Einstein!, or "She's no Einstein but check out her physics!"

Einstein and Mileva had a daughter they called Lieserl, because they wanted a name their daughter would be constantly asked to spell. Albert and Mileva's first son, Hans Albert Einstein, was born in Berne, Switzerland. Their second son, Eduard, was born in Zurich, all part of Einstein's plan - A Baby In Every City.

Einstein's many contributions to physics include: The photon theory and wave-particle duality derived from the thermodynamic properties of light, the first fluctuation dissipation theorem which explained the Brownian movement of molecules, and the first post-Newtonian expansion, explaining the perihelion advance of planet Mercury . No wonder my girlfriend wasn't impressed when I told her I made the varsity tennis team.

Jonas Salk

Jonas Salk (1914 - 1995) was an American medical researcher and virologist, best known for his discovery and development of the first safe and effective polio vaccine. He also was the inspiration for countless Jewish mothers saying to their children, "Why don't you do something useful with your life?" He was born in New York City, where his parents were Russian-Jewish immigrants. While attending medical school at New York University, he stood out from his peers not just because of his academic prowess, but because he chose to do medical research instead of becoming a physician, and wore a button that said, "Future Discoverer of Polio Vaccine."

Until 1955, when the Salk vaccine was introduced, polio was considered the most frightening public health problem of the postwar era. Annual epidemics kept getting worse and victims were usually children. Salk thought to himself, "If I could figure out a cure for this, I could finally get my mother to stop talking about my cousin Herman the brain surgeon."

Thus motivated to develop a vaccine against polio, Salk devoted himself to this work for the next eight years, during which time his wife, Donna, nonetheless made him take out the garbage daily. The field tests Salk set up were, according to one expert, "the most elaborate program of its kind in history, involving 20,000 physicians and public health officers, 64,000 school personnel, and 220,000 volunteers." Among Salk's greatest challenges was preparing box lunches for all of them.

When news of the discovery was made public on April 12, 1955, Salk was hailed as a "miracle worker," and the day "almost became a national holiday." He further endeared himself to the public by refusing to patent the vaccine, as he had no desire to profit personally from the discovery, but merely wished to see the vaccine disseminated as widely as possible and maybe go on a few dates and try to act humble.

Salk married Donna Lindsay, a master's candidate at the New York College of Social Work. They had three children: Peter, Darrell, and Jonathan.

In 1963, he founded the Salk Institute for Biological Studies in La Jolla, California, which is today a center for medical and scientific research. Dr. Salk's last years were spent searching for a vaccine against AIDS-and taking out the garbage.

Happy Fathers Day to all Jewish (and non-Jewish) fathers out there from Moses, Albert, Jonas and me.

Author Biography:


Mark Miller has written on numerous sit-com staffs, performed stand-up comedy in nightclubs and on TV, and been a humor columnist for the Los Angeles Times Syndicate. But he claims he'd trade all his accomplishments and possessions away in a second for immortality, limitless wealth and inner peace. He can be reached at markmiller2000@ca.rr.com

 

 

 

 

Egyptian Investors Caught-Up In Massive Pyramid Scheme
by Shmuel Savage

Five Thousand Year Old Deceit Uncovered

Farouk Al-Walid could do nothing but shake his head. "My wife told me not to invest, but my grandfather was in it. My grandfather's grandfather was in it and it goes as far back as his great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great grandfather." Al Walid lamented, "Looking back, these things seem so monumentally obvious. It had just been staring me in the face my whole life."

It is a case that authorities are calling "historic" and "breathtaking in its proportions, weight and scale." Lt. Mahmoud Shara told Jewlarious's sister station, Al Jewlarious, "This was not just any old pyramid scheme. This was a 5,000 year old pyramid scheme. One might even call it 'The Great Pyramid Scheme'." Lt. Shara told Al-Jewlarious that Egyptian police had been studying the case on and off for 4,630 years: "When I got the case file, there were hieroglyphics, drawings on papyrus and stone etchings. The case weighed 4700 pounds."

Shara told Al-Jewlarious that for close to 2000 years, the police had been pursuing a money trail, but were tracking the wrong suspects -- a bird, a pharaoh and a donkey -- due to mistakes reading the hieroglyphics. Recently, however, the police caught a break when they noticed more than 50 massive "pyramids" scattered across Egypt. As they looked into the financing of these pyramids, they could find no records at all. As the police dug even deeper, they found that ordinary citizens had been buying and selling shares in these pyramids and had been luring even more investors each year.

Police blew the whistle on the scheme and announced that they would bail-out any investors who had lost money during the past three hundred years. Egyptian Minister of Finance Youssef Boutros-Ghali told Al Jewlarious, "So many people, from bricklayers to taskmasters to mummies are innocent victims in this scheme. None of us could ever have seen it coming. It really is puzzling. It is a riddle -- a sphinx of sorts."


 

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Why Jews don't believe that Jesus is the Messiah

YOU SAY YOU WANT CHANGE?

By Frances Bernay-Cohen

I can't speak for you, but my grandparents came to the United States to find a refuge from "change." They came to The United States where their basic freedoms were guaranteed by the Constitution; where they could build a future on this solid ground.

Whether our forefathers and foremothers came from Europe, Cuba, Asia or Africa, I'm sure you will find some truth in this song.


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Air France flew from the U.S. to Israel during the early 1950s. They flew Lockheed Constellations and the flying time was 20 hours.

This promotional film - in English for an American audience - shows Israel as it was three years after the War of Independence .

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